123movies: Love Letter: Letting Go of a Romantic Illusion

July 30, 2021

By Charanna Alexander

There's nothing wrong with having high standards for what you desire in a potential mate. However, unrealistic expectations can often lead to disappointment.

Lavinia Spalding, the writer of this week's Modern Love essay, refused to settle for anything less than kismet — where fate would bring her face-to-face with the ideal partner that would share her love for books, travel and coffee.

However, after several failed attempts at replicating a serendipitous meet cute, one that would rival that of her parents who had been married for over 40 years, she reluctantly decided to give online dating (and a not-so-perfect match) a try.

MODERN LOVE

"Anything short of kismet won't work."

Brian Rea

Modern Love

Goodbye, My Fantasy Man

I wasn't willing to settle for less than kismet. But chasing a romantic illusion nearly kept me from finding love.

By Lavinia Spalding

MORE MODERN LOVE

Tales of love in different forms

Brian Rea

Modern Love

Tiny Love Stories: 'Don't Date People in Your Neighborhood'

Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words.

Continue reading the main story

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

Stars in "Tony n' Tina's Wedding" tie the knot.

Jackie Williams Photography

vows

Always a Bride and Groom, Now Together as a Married Couple

Denise Fennell and Rick Pasqualone were married an estimated 5,000 times between them as stars in "Tony n' Tina's Wedding," the Off Broadway hit.

By Vincent M. Mallozzi

Terri Baskin

mini-vows

Two Eagles Take Flight in Washington

Lauren Weaver and Burnell Holland III, both Boston College alumni, or Eagles as they like to be called, met in Washington, through another alumnus.

By Rosalie R. Radomsky

ASK THE EXPERTS

How to handle tricky conversations about money.

Miguel Porlan

ou Social Q's

My Sister Owes Me a Lot of Money. How Do I Get Her to Pay?

A reader seeks advice on unpaid familial debts.

By Philip Galanes

Lily Kesselman

Feeling Crafty? Make Your Own Wedding Day Look.

With bridal designers and boutiques experiencing an influx of customers and limited supply, some brides and grooms are taking the sewing machines into their amateur hands.

By Alix Strauss

Designlab Experience

A Wedding or an Art Installation? A Little of Both.

Some artists have found a new home outside of art galleries as couples strive to create interactive art experiences for their wedding guests.

By Danielle Braff

George Wylesol

How to Get Things Done When You Don't Want to Do Anything

The drive to be your best can be hard to muster right about now. Here are some ways to get your mojo back.

By Cameron Walker

Are You in an 'Inter-Intimate' Relationship?

For some couples, having different nonsexual intimacy preferences can be a strain on the relationship. Here's how to meet in the middle.

By Allison Hope

Emily Minton Redfield

On Location

For Two Designers, a Onetime Collaboration Wasn't Enough

When they first worked together, renovating a home that had once been a church, they never imagined they'd eventually get married there.

By Tim McKeough

We want to hear from you.

We want to deliver content that truly matters to you and your feedback is helpful. Email your thoughts to loveletter@nytimes.com.

Continue reading the main story

ADVERTISMENT

Also, here's how to submit a Modern Love essay or how to be featured in an Unhitched column. Don't feel like writing more than a tweet, an Instagram caption or a Facebook post? Consider submitting to Tiny Love Stories, which are no more than 100 words. Getting married? Here's how to submit your love story and news of your upcoming marriage.

Subscribe Today

We hope you've enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. Subscribe to The New York Times with this special offer.

Continue reading the main story